how are you? such simple question. How do you answer?

Well, much as it hard to believe for some of my friends, I am happy almost all the time. Why? Because I feel awe for life, see beauty in the smallest things, and yes, am always encouraging coach clients, friends and myself, to ask ..." where is the gift?" especially when things aren't perfect yet!

Tonight, in the aisles of Safeway, a large grocery store here, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for a while. He asked how I was. And for a change, my response was different. Because my life is different at this moment. So I replied... " I am in the valley..." and he seemed to light up, relate and knew exactly what I meant. ( He lost his wife just after childbirth 6 years ago).

My husband and I have decided on a trial separation after 20 years. Sure, we have our different views - always had - and it's not that we don't get along. We do. But we both want more than the status quo marriage we have had for at least the last year. His boss said people were never meant to live as long as we do now (with modern medicine) nor are they meant to be married more than 20 years. I can't answer to that but I do see, am meeting and speaking with other couples in 20 year marriages that are, or have separated after the same amount of time.

Back to ' in the valley'. When I said this, my friend, Ray, said people don't talk about this. We wear our masks, maybe because talking about being ' in the valley ' is uncomfortable if you haven't been there and can't understand. And it makes others want to run. Anyways, that's where I am and as Ray, my coach friends and myself believe .... that is where all the growth takes place. So here I am. Ready to sprout.